i dont remember my lip gloss aka spence was crying.

literally as i remember it---

<---i seriously remember being late for school on 9/11, which didn't mean a thing to anyone. it was a gorgeous day-september in new jersey was and is one of God's great gifts, and if you don't know that, please come visit me. the lady in the attendance office told me that z100 was playing a prank about la guardia(if only it'd just been a prank). during second period math, the journalism teacher came by crying and told classes that planes had crashed into the towers in lower manhattan. the board of ed had decided that the school was being locked down until 3, or whenever the hell we got out, unless people were signed out explicitly by a parent--people had justifiably been peacing out since we started seeing smoke and smelling it. our proximity to the city is usually a bragging point but that day it was terrifying; security in school and locally in general was a mess. all activities and pretty much everything was cancelled all day and the ban on technology-remember palm pilots? sheesh-was lifted. my mom had been calling me all morning-i remember phones back then didnt have ring tones, you had nokia tone or vibrate, but reception was almost nonexistent due to the mania-and telling me to keep my sister in her classes and to come home at the end of the day like usual; she and my dad were both still in jersey and they wanted us to be in the same place, where we were safe, just in case, God forbid.
traffic was understandably a nightmare on the way home and the smoke and stuff-in new jersey, half an hour away!-was cloying, pervasive, and awful. everyone was terrified and i remember specifically when i got home checking to see if trl was possibly airing in the midst of such horror and absolutely no real programming was on *at all*, it was hysterical new york news anchors on *EVERY* channel with tickers of names on the bottom--they were people who were missing. i seriously thought it was apocalyptic and i actually remember thinking "im actually thinking the word apocalyptic in context for once and it feels so weird"(i havent used it except in reference to that moment since). reporters were also saying that local volunteer rescue workers were being recruited to assist--and it didnt take a genius to know that garwood was local, with able-bodied, youngish, easily commuting firefighters in the ranks. jenn and i huddled together at home as instructed(what else on earth was there for two scared girls to possibly do anyway?)till my parents arrived separately. my father confirmed that yes, his fire company had been asked to go to new york to help with relief efforts(which really turned out to be grisly body excavating, too)and he considered it an opportunity to help. great. so we said goodbye and watched his company get priority transport to new york. no one felt like cooking, so my mom ordered pizza, which we ended up receiving for free and not eating anyway. we set up camp in my parents' room, staring at the bleak tv with the continuing ticker of names, and my father called pretty much every two hours, which no one minded since no one slept, saying his company was nowhere near lower manhattan; they were on relief in soho, cooking and letting the firefighters there go home to their families for a while. he did the same thing in brooklyn the day after(suspiciously acquiring a number of duty t-shirts along the way)and losing his sunglasses somewhere along the way home. around friday(remember it had been a tuesday?)ladder company 1 came home to nj and my old man was blessedly no worse for wear, save fro the sunglasses thing...that was the weekend we all pitched in to get him the D&G aviators that he still rocks to this day. it's been nine years, but everyday i'm thankful to be from a brave family, with a hero father, in a scrappy town, in the greatest country in the world.