<--this is seriously like stripper lip gloss. i dont know why i buy half of the stuff i buy, to be honest...actually, i do know, i shop to compensate for -something, i'm not sure what- but sometimes the stuff is just ridiculous. it's good product, it just looks ridiculous on me. maybe if i had a darker complexion, i don't know.
*i love how just as i type the word ridiculous, an advertisement for jersey shore season two airs.this show was such a train wreck but i could relate to more than a few things...i don't think new jersey makes anyone entitled to be a party girl but when i was a kid, the way i behaved might have made people think i did. in a quite toned down day, but stillll...*
i'm starting to think my whole life is going to be taken over by seizures. i know that isn't true; it's just been difficult lately and the last time it was sort of overwhelming was in 2003. i remember thinking the same thing then, too, and coming out relatively unscathed. it's not cancer, or AIDS, or some kind of legitimately taxing disease that'll kill me, and i know more than a little of this is self-pity. there's a shitload of medication available, i'm not epilipticus or anything, and i know more or less all of my triggers--twenty years just seems like so Goddamn long. that's what she said? i'm sorry, it's hard(she said it again!)to get through certain things without making shitty jokes. i'm sure they get tiresome, but i'm pretty sure being a depressed, convulsive maniac would get tiresome, too. i need to join a support group for adult epilepsy or something. i've thought about it for a few months and lately it seems like a good idea. i don't know.
dumb old haiku= i had to get a ct scan again last week(am i contender for the guinness documents? seriously, i'd be in it to win it if i wasn't concerned about all the radiation)and instead of teasing the tech about his citizenship status,*I KNOW, i'm an asshole. there's no way around it, i'm a true dick, but it was FUNNY*i made up a poem in my head-the same head that was being scrupulously poked and prodded(twss for the win):
this thing is very noisy
i hope it's broken
oh hey, my foot itches.
this is why i've always stuck to free-style. it's nice out. more soon.
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